CHRISTINA; sweet dreams or a beautiful nightmare

Thursday, November 19, 2009 Y

Penguins

{{ 9:58 AM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Tuesday, September 22, 2009 Y

GOODBYE.

Hi all.
It's been nice writing in this space about my fustrations and happiness.
Moving on, I would like to face my brand new life with a brand new blog.
Cheers!

http://ilovesomtum.blogspot.com

{{ 1:42 AM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Friday, September 18, 2009 Y

the floor and me

I want to go for ice-skating. Someday, soon.
With a bunch of friends, with my lover.
And we will skate across the icy cold floor and I want to fall hard on my bum.
It's gonna be painful, i know.
But somehow I am loving the pain. A little sadist, I know.
And we'll be laughing at each other cause it's fun!

And so, i wanna skate.

Labels: HEART it

{{ 1:42 AM -
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Thursday, September 17, 2009 Y

Hi there, alexandra road.

IKEA.

That's one of my favourite place to dine in at.

There's delicious chicken wings, salmon and meatballs to be devoured. Baby and myself is always ordering more than what we can finish, and not forgetting the super YUMMY brownies and cheesecake too!! There's cheap $1 hot dog buns with self-squeezed mustard and chili on the go.

Also, there's the usual showrooms which baby and myself spent time walking around to digest our food and act like we're a married couple looking for furnitures, with baby going lovely dovey over at the bedroom and baby sections.

And there's me going lovely dovey at the walk-in closet section of course!

Seriously, what's not to love about ikea? =)

The weather in Singapore is hot and humid and making me sweat like hell each and everyday. Guess that's the (one of many) things we gotta withstand in return for a (not so) safe security and safe country huh?

Today, i am going to head back to work, i think. Because I took the whole week off last week, for personal reasons and then my manager has not smsed me regarding my working days and speaking of which, I am dreading the "not nice" feeling which I tend to get whenever I go back to work after sick leave and stuff like that.

Been busy with classes in school and yoga lessons and then there's the cramps and pains and tummy aches I have to endure every single day. It sucks, to be in my position. Sigh.

But on a happier note, I am loving the fact that Chanel and myself have already planned to take a trip down to Bangkok in December to kickstart our plan, and on top of that, I have to force myself to work so that I can clear off my debts and stuff like that. Sigh.

Doesn't sound very happy, I know. =(

Okay, got to go, going to meet Joanne for lunch and accompany her down for her pratical exams and then I'm meeting baby later before heading down to work.

Till then!

Labels: Feelings deep within

{{ 1:09 PM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Monday, September 14, 2009 Y

I edited the latest picture of us together and then had it as Baby's wallpaper on his computer. I'm pretty sure he's gonna love it and then feel very very sweet. Haha! Right now, I'm still over at baby's place, since he left for work one hour ago, and I'm supposed to be showering now, there's school and yoga later on the day and then school's starting in like, one hour's time. Am not prepared yet, shucks.

Got to wash my hair, ask baby's maid, Emi to open the door for me and then i have to carry my yoga mat around today.

Good news is, I'm feeling much better and that hopefully, my health don't deteriorate even further. Sigh. Oh, and besides that, the other day baby bought like three new pieces of clothings for me! YAY!

Watched "Gamer" and "The Time Traveller's Wife" and that both got me crying, cause, very very sad. Lots of action and emotions involved. Sigh.

Okay, got to go. Ee Lin's just called me and I've really got to start preparing already. Bye!

Labels: HEART it

{{ 7:41 AM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Friday, September 11, 2009 Y

Like a bird, i wanna fly.

The world is mine to conquer, but where do i start?

i just wanna sink into the cold cold water and let it wake me up.

I just wanna jump into a miracle pool of water and make me well again.

I just wanna emerge as a new person.

I just want the very best for my mum.

I'm a changed person, and i can feel that.

I'm feeling blissful because i have a very nice boyfriend.

And i won't wanna change that at all.

Baby, he's holding onto my hand, trying to guide me along the path that I wanna be.

But...i seems to lose the determination to get things done right.

I don't wanna let go of the things in my lfe, my focus right now.

I don't wish to sink back into the old life I used have.

I think i am gonna break down any moment.

Forgive me, baby. If I am throwing any meaningless tantrums.

I'm feeling miserable for myself all over again.

Labels: Feelings deep within, HATE it

{{ 11:30 AM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Saturday, August 29, 2009 Y

Hello bloggy!

Ben and myself says hi!

I’m loving my hairstyle right now, even though my relationship with my dad is near to nothing, and I’m having nightmares almost daily; I am still blessed to have such a fabulous boyfriend who loves me truly and is working hard every day so as to provide me with the life I always wanted.

Alongside with that, are my fabulous friends who care for me, silently. =)

Life can’t be too bad than this man. I’m on my final leg of my studies, and then I have a part time job to earn some income, my mummy’s far away from one of her heartache, and then I get to hug.kiss/do anything I want to, with my baby boy.

Life simply rocks yeah?

Right at this moment, I’m listening to songs, and they brighten up my day instantly! Like Adam Lambert’s “no boundaries”, and Beyonce’s “sweet dreams”.

Right at this moment as well, my poor baby’s at some company walkathon for charity over at the Padang! We’ll be heading out for a movie (Year One) and then going to have dinner and drinks over at my workplace, Heehee. I’m going to stuff myself silly with some Spanish goodness and then some tropical sangria. YUMMY!

Oh, right after writing that paragraph up there, baby called me and then told me he’s on his way home already, which means I have to get up and wash up already. Blah.

I think I will be a nice little soul and then blog about the movies and restaurants I’ve been to lately.

Okay bye!

P.S
I’m not blogging because I’m addicted to Face booking!!! My god, so late then addicted to FB, hahaha!

P.P.S
My baby’s the sweetest thing ever, always loving me so unconditionally, giving unconditionally and he pampers me a lot. Every time I gets a kiss on the forehead from him, I just turn jelly and feels so loved. Girls, every single girl out there in this world deserves a guy like that. Therefore, please, don’t subject yourselves to any form of “self-degrading” by enduring abuse, or emotional hurt from the other party.
YAY! TO FALLING IN LOVE, BEING LOVED. HUGS!

P.P.P.S
I think I am turning into a super duper feminist already.

Labels: HEART it

{{ 10:33 AM -
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Thursday, August 27, 2009 Y

Sleepless nights.

Just got abruptly woken up by a very, very bad dream.

Gave baby a call, but then he's on his way to his school with his friend in the car, so I presumed he's not using the earpiece and so I hanged up after little words with him.

Supposed to be attending baby's graduation ceremony today, but decided not to, because I'm bound to be late for the lawyer's appointment that I have to bring mum to.

And now, I am a little sour because later baby will be taking pictures with all his friends and I won't be in any of the pictures because I'm not there. :(

Okay, let me put that all aside. I'm determined not to let this jealousy monster overtake me early in the morning. Anyway, speaking of dreams, I always have bad dreams that pulled me out of bed in the morning and then unable to continue, no matter what.

Of course, how bad can a dream be if it doesn't consists of me, my dad, mummy and brothers.

I dreamt peopled were killed, my brothers and myself were kidnapped by my dad and his gang of killers and then having a spare moment to myself, I managed to get the polices and then get the whole gang arrested. Until when I was free and on my way to meet my mum, I saw my dad again.

Feeling totally scared and yet at the same time, I was so determined to put him into jail. I chased after him, till the point that I realised he wasn't there anymore, but instead, I started to be fearful for my mum's safetly.

I began to walk with my mum, all the while being cautious about my dad and that he might pull out a gun or something. In the meantime, I called the police and complained about thier ineffecieny, at allowing someone to escape.

Believe me, I have no idea why these kind of funny dreams come to me. I still remember myself thinking in the dream "WHY? Why am I doing this to my own dad, why is he doing this to us?" And then I remembered myself staring down at my own hands.

This is not the first time I am dreaming about such things. I really am sick of it. Before I head to bed, I don't have anything particular in mind, I don't even think about it at all.

BUT WHY? WHY IS THIS ALL HAPPENING AGAIN?

Sometimes, I really wished to end my life, living such a life.

I'm not as strong as I decieved myself to be; but because I have such a wonderful mum, I want to protect her and be there for her. And as for baby, he's been nothing short of wonderful to me as well. Do I honestly deserve such a good guy?

Right at this moment, tears are falling. When they stop?

Labels: Feelings deep within, HATE it

{{ 9:06 AM -
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Tuesday, August 18, 2009 Y

Hi Hair!

HI PEOPLE!

I finally had the guts/chance to cut my hair and then I chose to surprised everyone like that.

POOF!! and I have Betty Bob's hair on my head now.

I used to cry when I have short cropped hair, but this time...

I AM FREAKING LOVING IT, MAN!

Okay, and so my exams for this semester is over, it's my freaking holiday now, but all I can do, is work and work and then work somemore. Simply because I have no cash on hand and moolah in the bank.

So before I can go out and enjoy (Which all needs money), I have to earn first, right?

So, pardon me, my friends while I can't join you guys on certain days for FUN. =(

Oh yeah, I've signed up for the upcoming YOGA class in school with Jingyi and Ee Lin. We are gonna torture ourselves every monday night for 2 hours in school!!! And I'm trying myself to cut down on food, no more nice dinners and restaurant, gonna make sure I am able to shed off my unwanted FATS within 3 months at least.

You know, it's been a long time since I last did something for myself. And boy, I am freaking happy I did something to change myself, my style. The haircut is something new, and the next to be changing; my wardrobe.

I'm gonna learn how to dress well/ make-up well and everything about myself.

All simply because I wanna find my own image before I turn 21. (And then save lots of money too lah. )

Alas, as everyone would have guessed it, the things that remained unchanged is my mum, brothers and my boyfriend, Ben, of course. Heehee!! They are the reasons why I am living for every single day. MUACKS!!!!

P.S

I will blog soon about the birthday celebrations at Seoul Garden, the dinner over at my workplace with baby as well as the photos that I have taken! BYE!

Labels: HEART it

{{ 3:42 PM -
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Sunday, August 9, 2009 Y

national day and a wedding

HAPPY NATIONAL DAY!
AND UNLIKE THE USUAL SINGAPOREANS WHO GOES PATRIOTIC..

I ATTENDED A WEDDING INSTEAD. HAHA.

Went to my colleague’s (the kitchen chef)’s wedding over at the Spring Court Restaurant @ Chinatown.
Wore a Hula and Co’s grey flowered dress and paired it with a brown belt, earthy toned bangles and white wedges, accompanied by a white beach bag. Heehee.

Baby send me there, and picked me up as well. Super sweet of him, and we had a hard time locating the place because baby is totally hopeless with the map! Luckily I knew roughly where the places on the map are and we got there on time.

Seriously, at my mini wedding, I am gonna make sure no one is going to be late. Late comers will be send home man. Cause my wedding’s gonna be very individual, intimate and very private.

Olivia, my colleague from work, reached way before anyone, even before the groom, and she was like waiting by herself. Good thing I came like, on the dot at 11.30am and I was accompanying her.

And then, about 20 minutes or so, the guests started streaming in.

Over all, the lunch was okay, and I was enjoying the spare ribs! YUMS.

Photos!

Robin and his wife and all of us at Laviva. Excluding a few people. Anyway, Robin’s wife is usually like a cat woman, sexy and hot. Guess for her wedding, she tones down a lot. 

After the lovely wedding, I went back to work. Bye!

Labels: HEART it

{{ 10:13 AM -
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Wednesday, July 29, 2009 Y

My 19th birthday.

29/07/09 Wednesday.

I went down with mummy over to the old place with my birthday cake in the hope of cutting my birthday cake with my brothers before heading down to school to meet my friends for revision.

In the end, my brothers were not around, and so I wasted precious time before making my way down to school to meet the girls. They, Hui Xian, Jing Yi, Kai Lin, Ee Lin, Jasmine, Linda surprised me with a birthday cake and a 100 plus can (Cause I told them to help me buy water.) and of course, I was touched, like really touched. All because I wasn’t expecting such a gesture from them.

Honestly speaking, I thought they were going to throw flour and eggs and everything “nice” at me, man!!

But they did sabotage me though, by asking me to choose between picking out candle using my mouth, or risk having the whole cake smashed at my face, obviously….

I chose picking candle out right? =)

After which I headed back home to pass my mum a gift I got for her, and then waiting for baby to come fetch me out. We headed over to my old place again, and this time I cut my cake with my brothers; short cutting ceremony.

Before heading out; wanted to capture my pretty dress and gorgeous Anna Nucci heels which I was wearing, but my little brother was standing far too back and thus the picture turned out to be like that. Haha!

Baby was starving and so was I; we quickly headed down to the Bugis for a nice sumptuous dinner of steaks and mussels.

Over at Phin’s of course; I have to say, their steaks and sauces are seriously damn good. I told baby if we were able to make it big in the future, we’ll go and be a franchisee of the restaurant, so that we have delicious steaks to devour on! =)

Next, we headed over to Wala Wala for a drink and chilling out session, listening in to the live band. I totally enjoyed the night, and was quite high (Baby totally loves it whenever I am high on alcohol, I’m always visibly more cheerful and talkative and very….insane, Haha!)

That pretty marks the celebrations of my 19th birthday; I have to say, even though it was simple, I totally enjoyed every moment of it because it was my day and friends made an effort to make me happy. =) A big thank-you to all my beloved friends for the wishes and cakes.

P.S
Baby, I love you, the best gift from you (besides the Clinique set you got me) is the fact that I have you by my side, celebrating my day with me. Muacks!

P.S.S
My colleagues over at LAVIVA also celebrated my birthday in advanced for me with a cake and a present. Thanks people; and they made me down a shot of hot vodka I think, which burn my throat and my tummy, Haha! =)

Labels: Feelings deep within, HEART it

{{ 12:55 PM -
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Saturday, July 25, 2009 Y

aftermath of bad and weird dreams.

I woke up halfway just now in the middle of a sleeping session with baby.
Abruptly, because it was never my intention to wake up after a weird dream and crying at that.
It is, of course, a dream that involves my brothers and my dad.

It's been so long since I last spoke to him; I still didn't manage to send him a msg or even a call.

I have thought that by moving out, it will lessen the atmosphere at home, protect my mum from the daily scenes that were screening everyday my dad deems as he fits. It was pure hell. And mind you, you guys don't know how lucky you are, to have your mum cook for you, your dad to nag at you, but the very bottomline, your mum and dad are sleeping together, and in a family sense, you guys are safe and sound.

If i can turn back time, I will give up anything, (Excluding giving up ben's love.) to get that kind of scenario.

I may be spared from the occasional banging and verbal abuse and those loud voices, but i am not spared from the emotional turmoil which i am going through right now. My mum don't feel better either. She worries constantly for the safety of her other sons, and at times, she told me that she feels lonely (Because my time is divided between school and work. and little time with Baby, we'll come to that part later.) And so I'm left wondering constantly.....

Am I doing the right thing?

If my mum feels this way, I'm sure my dad felt like this a long time ago. But the thing is, we've come to a kind of situation that my mum cannot go back to the past anymore, and I am playing the roles a so many different persona, it's wearing me down emotionally.

I now realize that being tired emotionally is so much more tired than being drained out from doing physical exercises. Whenever I think about my own family, I will tend to have tummy pains and headaches, but baby says it's purely psychological. is it true?

As on baby's part, he is truly; the best boyfriend any girl can ask for, and honestly, it is my damn good fortune to have his love and his admiration. So much that he's been constantly reminding me that in the times of darkness, there's still him to hold on to. Simply because he sees me as his wife already, and that if i don't let him help to light up the path during my hour of darkness, who else will?

Baby makes so much effort on his side, that I can't help but to fall deeper and deeper for him. I am so not afraid to show my weaker side to him, at anytime, at all times. I sincerely trust him and put my entire life with him. There's no one else who will wiping the tears off my face in the middle of the night, hugging me and making me feel better, constantly enduring my whines and my emotional breakdowns, accompanying my mum and myself, sending my brother to his workplace when we're both feeling hungry, every single thing that I bet even your boyfriend will crinkle his nose up and feel like telling you off.

Benjamin Teh; my fiance, wouldn't.

As for the roles I'm playing, I honestly feel like I have to keep in contact with my brothers, ensure that they are safe. Be there for my mum, cause I know she's lonely, and I really want more than anything to make her happy. (Okay, the thing here is, every time whenever i think about my mum, I will cry, because i feel like i am letting her down, by making her suffer.)
And then there's the role of being my baby's gf/wife.

I hope in the near future, my mummy will be truly happy, my brothers are all doing well and then I can finally just settle down and play one role; Benjamin's wife.

But as for now, I really am taking a step at a time, and by penning down all these that I am facing, i hope in a way or another, I am unloading those memories so that my head wouldn't hurt twice as much anymore. =(

goodnight.

Labels: Feelings deep within

{{ 10:25 PM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

happy inkings.

Hey guys!
I've been far too busy recently and obviously deprived of using the internet over at my rental place. But now since I'm over at my boyfriend's place, I've got to check out all my favourite websites and blogs at one go!

Okay, basically, I've been caught up with work and exams are coming, so my friends have been trying their best to drag me out of bed and to attend the revision sessions together. Thank god for them man, I've at least understood the lessons and topic with regards to BBS (Stats) and then there's work! I've been trying so hard to fit into the circle, but then it has dawn upon me that I don't have to, work is just work, I'm there to basically earn my money and at the end of the day, punch out.

When things are not going the way you want it, and you can't make things happen; just care less. =)

Okay, I'm heading off to fetch my mummy, and we're gonna have super nice duck rice!!! =) Be back to update more and of course, post up outdated pictures of me, myself and food!!!

By the way, my birthday's coming up next wednesday!! Baby's gonna bring me out to somewhere special for dinner. And I've gotton an early birthday present from him!! But then again, it;s mainly because i bugged him to.

MUAHAHAHA.

His present?

Clinque products!!! It's the 3 steps to beautiful skin package! He knows I've been worrying over my body, my weight and my skin recently and so baby got me this set so that I can feel good and better about myself when I use it. Further more to me, I feel that it's a very significant and meaning gift because I'm turning 19, it's time for me to take good care of my skin before I look older than my actual age. Heehee, thanks baby, I love it!! =)

Okay, my boyfriend's nagging and my tummy's growling. GTG! BYE!

Labels: HEART it

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Thursday, July 16, 2009 Y

you know i hate these.

1. I don't like serving customers who thinks they are oh-godly better than others; and therefore shows off thier assets/attitude/slang in front of me. YOU suck! You know that. And if i had balls, you will have to lick them man!
2. I freaking hate hypocrites. There are a few in my group, and I am not afraid to hide that fact. YOU know it, and just because others are less desirable, you think you have the option of mocking at others? You know what? You don't. You're worse than that "others". So shut your big fat trap beause no matter how beautiful you think you are, you're just shallow and ugly inside.
3. Which brings me to the third point, I hate project mates that doesn't do thier part and yet act coy and proud with me. Yes, because there's me now, you get to get the grades, but you won't do as well when it comes to the real thing.
4. I hate cockroaches, they honestly make me jump/squirm/everything.
5. I hate falling sick, which i am, right now.

Okay, bye!

Labels: HATE it

{{ 12:05 PM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Tuesday, July 7, 2009 Y

little notings.

school. projects. lateness.
I've been skipping school alot lately, and rushing out projects like I'm rushing for the last train.
I've not been concentrating on my studies at all, i think i am gonna fail.
but then again, i have to do well, and no matter what, i will force myself to do so.

work.smile. money.

I've been working so much lately, so much that i know i feel myself getting so tired each and every night then i will tend to skip school the next day.
I know it's my bad. But i need the money, though at the end of the day, it is because of the school fees, that's why i am working most of the time.
And one night, it was so busy that i broke my $14 cotton on shoes and bought myself a pair of crocs the next afternoon and then my mum a pair of crocs the next afternoon too.
I am secretly delighted that I've finally bought her one pair of crocs to wear comfortably.

friends.friendships.care.
I heart all my friends.
be it joanne, roxana,chanel, hui yi, ee lin, jing yi, hui xian, dian, kailin, vinz, intan, zyzy, kason, jasmine, linda, huimin, qiufang, rini and all my friends/classmates who knows me, and deep down cares about my well-being.
i may not be the best friend around, but i am really glad you all care about me in some little ways or another.
I know it's a difficult time for me, even at this very moment, it is still a mess despite moving out, but it is all the small little concerns i recieved that makes me feel i am doing the right thing.
THANK YOU ALL. MUACKS!

period.pain.MC.
i super duper hate periods, they make me squel like a pig and then curl up like a snail, in pain. And then i have to take MC so that i can spare myself from standing and walking around the restaurants for 4hours straight while enduring the pain coming from my privates. No thank you, unless i am earning like what? a thousand per hour? If not, I'll rather rest.
And hey, i am not just resting only okay, i am rushing my projects. go back to the first para.

love.baby.ben.
Seriously. Can any boyfriend out there get better than the one i have?
Nonono. He's not better, he's not good, no good at all.
(Must say this, if not some bitches will plot a plan to snatch him away.)
But then again, he is really very very good to me, i must have been a pre-mother theresa to have met him and then have the charm enough to make him fall for me. Haha!!!
Aww, baby, I love you; you're my everything, and always remember i'm gonna hold your hands when we're both old and wrinkly okay? MUACKS!

life.moving on. moving out.
Like everyone knows, i've moved out. then what's next?
honestly speaking, i don;t know what should be my next step.
Any advice from anyone at all?
I mean, it's been an emotional struggle to get used to the rental room i am living in, i wake up in the morning, washed up, wash my clothes and undies and then get out of the house, go school, meet baby for dinner and then go to work. after work, take train, take bus back home, open the door to a dark living room, take my clothes, bathe and wash clothes and then hopped onto bed and fall asleep.

the next morning, repeats everything.

I don't have time for my dad or my two brothers or even my mum at all.
Considering the fact that whenever i am out of the house, she is at work.
When i'm back, she is asleep.
And then my dad recently called me, and he felt moody. I really am trapped in an emotional turmoil even though my body is far away.
It's like i have a responsiblity to keep my mum away from my dad, but then again, i have to show that i still care for my dad. How to show him that whenever in his mind, he thinks i am always siding my mum.

i can't even start a proper conversation without him getting agitated or thinking about my mum and things in the past.

Can anyone tell me what to do?
=(

chris. biongbiong chrissy chris.
(taken from huiyi's blog description of me)
I'm still doing fine despite all of the above.
Honestly speaking, i don't know if i am a human or a superhuman.
=)

Labels: Feelings deep within, Friends, HATE it, HEART it

{{ 10:00 PM -
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Monday, June 29, 2009 Y

Smiles and tears.

After tears, Chris; SMILE.

(Pic taken from devaintart.com)

That sweet angelic moment is not meant to be mine.
Of not innocence I possessed, but of strong steel I am made of.

I'm already taking that small tiny step out of the life I (had) lived.
To have flashbacks belonging to that moment still bring tears to my eyes.
I've tried my best to block the image, but it ain't working.
Sometimes, sometimes.

We've just got to pretend that everything's gonna be okay and let time heal.
Finally finished packing everything, and what's left in that house, are just pillows and bolsters.
And of course, memories.

Starting on Monday, I will be staying in that rented room.
Though its a new start; this start is nonetheless scaring me to no end.
It's after all, not my own. There's bound to be waves when it's high tide at sea right?

I thank all friends for their kind concerns and regards.
As much as I want to move on, it will take time.
And meanwhile....

I've just got to keep smiling, ain't I?
=)

Labels: Feelings deep within, Friends

{{ 2:15 AM -
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Friday, June 26, 2009 Y

fear.

And so, I went through another day of hell in my living hell-hole.
I swear I never want to go through that again.

I still remember how my mum looked through the metal grilles of the gate, informing me to ask my brother to come home as early as he can, since he is going out to meet his friends while I had to report for work. Her eyes were just so pitiful, as if she knew what was coming.

I was on my way to the bus-stop before I realised I had left my handphone back home; needless to say, I went back home to retrieve my phone but instead of going out again, I stayed back home again…

I didn’t want to leave my mum alone with my dad (who has since returned home) and lied to him instead, saying that I was called up by my manager saying I need not report for work because they are gonna train a new person.

I just wanted to be there with my mum; prior to this, we were looking at a room over at some places, and has already paid a deposit for the room, I know it may be a strain on our limited financials, but I also believed that eventually, me and my mum can stand up on our own.

But it was a blessing in disguise since my dad INDEED went into an emotional angry rage like always, but this time, it was a more serious situation then I thought.

He went into my bedroom to argue further/verbally abused my mum while she was preparing for bed, and luckily I went in just in time to push him away while he swinged the fan and wanted to strike it on my mum. Seriously, can anything get better can this?

YES, IT CAN!

After this stunt, I managed to push him off, into the living room and as usual he was taunting my mum with his make-to-believe stories, while all the while thinking that my mum has an affair with her boss. And then I think his nerve snapped because he went into our kitchen (as usual) to bring a knife so that he can go and hack the fellow…

Upon seizing the chance to avoid him and his crazy antics, me and my mum then went into my brother’s room, pushing the double-decker bedframe against the door to keep it from breaking down.

Needless to say, my dad managed to hack the doorknob, as usual and because the bedframe was in the way, he hacked a bloody hole in the door!!!!!!!!!

CAN YOU BELIEVE IT?

I can’t, I was so terrified that he will fling a knife in, since he managed to tore off the pieces of wood and flinged it at my mummy, luckily she ducked under the bed, and that was how we hide for at least 15 minutes, while waiting for the police to arrive.

POLICEMEN ARE FED-UP WITH MY DAD, MY FAMILY AND WARNED THAT THE NEXT TIME, THEY WILL ARREST US ALL IF WE FAILED TO SETTLE OUR FAMILY DISPUTE. I BLOODY CALLED THREE TIMES; THEY TOOK SO LONG TO COME…. SERIOUSLY, OTHER THAN SOME NICE OFFICERS, THE REST ARE LIKE SHIT.

Anyway, after the whole thing was like, in the process and the policemen just arrived, my brother came back and asked “what’s wrong?”, I got so fucking mad at him because he is the only male in the family besides my dad, yet he left my mum alone at home despite promising her that he will be home to protect her.

If I wasn’t at home, am I supposed to see him cry should I come home to see my mum not alive anymore?

I LOVED MY MUM A LOT, BECAUSE OF HER SACRIFICES AND EVERYTHING THAT SHE DOES FOR ME, I LOVE THE BOTH OF THEM A LOT, BUT MY DAD NEVER SEES IT.

Sometimes, I am really fed up with this house, this family, but I am holding on because of my mum, I want to give her a life she never had; I want her to be happy. It’s because of her, that’s why I am holding on, and holding back a lot of actions that I had always wanted to commit.

My life has never been perfect, but till now, I can safely say that I am very blessed to have a mummy like I have now, a fabulous boyfriend in Ben, and a very good friend like chanel who will offer me to stay as well as a best friend in Joanne to help me out when I needed it.

Of course, I took off and then didn’t manage to go to work; luckily my manager understands the difficulty that I am going through.

Today, I paid the first instalment for the divorce proceedings and bought new bed sheets for the new room, I sincerely pray that this tiny step I take with my mum will be better and better in the future.

I never want to lead such a dramatic life; and it isn’t my choice. I wished things were different, but this road can’t be reverse now, I have to be brave enough to move onwards.

Wish me luck. =)

Labels: Feelings deep within

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Wednesday, June 24, 2009 Y

a debt that can't never be repaid.

Hello chrissyll.blogspot.com,

Of all the many entries that dictated my happiness, it’s been a while since I last penned down my sorrow.

Sorrow of how I honestly feel, deep within me...

My dad gave my mum a warning, given her a grace period of 3 days to move out from their ex-marital home. Obviously, that means I have to get out of the house too lah, since I am under my mum’s custody.

Tomorrow is the day I make the payment for the legal proceedings, and then I’ll see how things go from there.

Honestly speaking, I am selfish. I don’t want to cope with the problems that my parents are facing and so I chose to run. I can understand what my dad’s going through, but each time I tried to tell him things are not like what he thinks it is, he never EVER listens.

I never want to experience this kind of shit ever again in my life. I’m honestly tired, but what else can I do?

Mummy is looking for a room to rent right now, and we need at least a thousand for the down payment. She don’t even have that much and neither do I. And to make things worse, my hand phone line is being disconnected and by the look of it, I can only afford to have it connected back after a couple of months.

Thank god for the existence of baby, who takes it upon him to help shoulder my load because he says “to him, I’m already his wife, so my mum is also his mum.” I know that's super sweet and sincere of him, but I never want to burden/trouble him with anything.

But then again, it has come to the point that I have no one to run to anymore, no one to guide me along this path...

I am gonna be a walking zombie soon; going to school, doing projects, work and then back into the horrible place I used to call home.

Hopefully things will get better than this as I crossed my fingers. =)

Labels: Feelings deep within

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Monday, June 22, 2009 Y

Went out with my peeps for some clubbing action recently; after one shot of tequila, one jug of Long Island Tea, one more glass of Long Island Tea, shared a jug of Vodka Red Bull, had Jager Bomb and followed by Blue mountain…..

Sheena& Ben, Baby & myself, Joanne & Daryl.

I looked like that man! INSANELY AND EXTREMELY HIGH!
Love my baby boy so much, because he was the one taking care of me the whole night, and then I crashed over at his place. So much fun that night, but that was a little bit of stuff at the end of it.

Gonna meet up for clubbing real soon, okay peeps? =)

P.S
will post up pictures when i recieve them.

Labels: Friends, HEART it

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Thursday, June 18, 2009 Y

tests and papers

There are no classes today and so I woke up late.
Actually, I always wake up later than the alarm clock says so.
Sometimes, I have no fucking idea why I feel so dead tired in the morning, but I guess I know the answer myself; it’s because I always sleep late.

Anyway!

I checked out my results and found out I’ve failed my POM paper and scored a D for accounting. Seriously, should have seen that one coming, because I didn’t study as much as I am supposed to, and so, I deserved to be fucked.

Whoa. Chris’s turning quite vulgar am not I?

Well, recently, I’ve got the lowest possible tolerance level for stupid people, and the moment I come across such people, I just flare up without any second thoughts about my image, etc.

Note to self; shall do well for the retake exams as well as this semester’s modules. =)

Okay, shall head back to my HR notes for tomorrow’s quiz already. Seriously, I should pay more attention in class, drag myself out from bed each morning, go gym with timothy and work even harder than this.

Geez. Chris, work hard and stop playing. ARGH.

Labels: Feelings

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Monday, June 15, 2009 Y

blue coral

Something pink, something yellow, something blue. =)

I got myself a dress from Forever 21, and I love it! Totally in love with the gorgeous colour, and then I realised, I’ve been injecting more and more vibrant colours into my wardrobe. Heehee.

Oh, did I mention I got a pay rise of a dollar? I’m earning $7/hr now, totally justified the reason I left JBP. =)

Labels: HEART it

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Saturday, June 13, 2009 Y

1.1 milestone

IT’S BABY AND MY ONE YEAR, ONE MONTH ANNIVERSARY!!!
I treasure my weekends more and more ever since baby started work.
I honestly can’t wait till we tie the knot some time later.
Cause I can’t wait to be sleeping next to my baby boy every single night.
And then waking up to his gorgeous face each beautiful morning.

I love him, I really do!

So baby, it’s been so long, and I didn’t even realise it has been like a year over.

OKAY, I DID REALISE LAH.

I feel loved by you all the time, minus those times I feel like struggling you and smacking you, but yeah lah, I know deep down inside, we both feel the same way for each other.

Baby says I am his first priority and I called him a liar. Because every time his friends made plans to meet, he will always put his friends before me and then I am always in second place.

I told baby that I feel neglected whenever he always inform me at the very last minute whenever his friends made plans for dinner and he always leave me settling my own dinner plans.

I HATE IT! Cause I feel very alone, and thus I will skip dinner every time he meet his friends for dinner, and then I will have gastric pains throughout the night during work.

Whereas I am different, I will always make time for baby and cancel my plans with friends just to accompany/spend time with him. =( I am like that, boyfriend over friends. HaHa!

And then, baby said sorry and he hugged me real tight while we were lying on his bed. He hugged me so so tight and then apologised profusely for making me feel that way. I think he felt very apologetic because his ex treated him that way bah, and hence he didn’t want the one he loved to feel that way ever. I did!! =(

But it’s all good between us right now, we don’t argue( other than playfully) and we don’t quarrel too. Only have heart to heart talks to clarify things that are bothering us and that’s why I always says, COMMUNICATION IS THE KEY!

Baby is really a very unique person; he has his soft moments but can also be very man when the time calls for him to be. Seriously, he amazes me every time and makes me fall him over and over again.

WHEN YOU FEEL THAT WAY, GIRLS, YOU’VE FOUND THE ONE YOU WANNA MARRY. =)

@ Phin’s Steakhouse over at Bugis. Baby and I decided to do a franchise with them when we have money in the future! =)

Ever since I met you, I understand the definition of love, and then I also know from the bottom of my heart that we’re in this, thick and thin together. You give me so much love I’ve become so addicted to it. And it is near impossible to be without it now, fallen too deep and too hard for you, there’s nothing I rather do, than be with you.

Muacks!!!!!
I miss you baby~

Labels: HEART it

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Wednesday, June 10, 2009 Y

library and sprees and bags.

I copied this from some website on google.
And then used it for my Human Resource's project as the bullet.
While doing project at the school's library, I went into the Forever 21's shopping spree.
Oh boy, how i regret it.

(HOW NOT, WHEN THE ITEMS ARE LIKE LESS THAN usd$20!!!)

Right now, at this very instance, i told baby that i feel like robbing a bank.

Geez. For fuck's sake, i want to b stinking rich in the future.
=)

Oh.
I'm in the school right now, waiting for time to pass so that i can get ready for work later at six.
I am completely drained out right now; having had only 5 hours of sleep.
Work is terrible because i don't feel any connection between my colleagues and me.

No one to really talk to; and i honestly just g to work purely for that 4 hours of pay each night.
Soon. Soon.Soon.

I hoped to clear off most of my debts and then be able to purchase Longchamp's bags for mummy and myself.

Bags make me very very happy.

You know that, right?

Labels: Feelings deep within

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Tuesday, June 9, 2009 Y

hello!

Hi there people!

Let me see, I have like…
- update about Xiao Hong’s birthday celebration
- update on the sentosa outing
- update on my latest wants
- Addiction to House OF the Dead 4...

And that’s that! All will be up soon when I have the time.

Right now, I’m busy with my Human Resource project and then the other two projects after school and then work! Gosh, this self imposed schedule is going to make me super tired, keep me busy and hopefully able to make me lose weight!!

I’m already cutting down on chocolates and fast food le, as well as experiencing loss of appetite because I am stressed, haha.

Aww, look at the time! I’ve only got enough time to blog a quick one before I have to go and get ready for work. Gee, shall update soon!! =)

BYE!

P.S
I love you baby, and it warms my heart deeply to know that you’re working so hard for our little family in years to come. Muacks! =)

P.S.S
Thanks guys!! I thought the dress looked good too!! Gonna add some colours into my boring wardrobe, next up….a new addition to the wardrobe. Stay tuned!

Labels: HEART it

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Monday, June 8, 2009 Y

sentosa

IT’S A MONDAY, AND IT’S A NO LESSON DAY!
Obviously, we’ll take the chance to go out la!

Headed down to Sentosa with Ee Lin, Jing Yi and Hui min; reached Harbourfront at around 11 plus. Bought Subway and a whole baby chicken over at Giant for lunch.

The weather was so hot!! But of course, it’s good for tanning lah, I went there as usual and sunblock myself by applying tones of sunblock lotion, haha!

Limited photos though, still waiting for those two girls namely Lin and Hui min to send me the pictures. Haha!

And after which, I kind of forget what I did already. All I knew was that i meet baby and then we waited for joanne to go shopping in town. =)

P.S
I didn’t take picture of jing yi here. Still waiting for the pictures to be send over. Oh yeah, I find that Ee Lin looks very very sweet/cute here, don’t you think so? =)

Labels: Friends

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Tuesday, June 2, 2009 Y

pizza hut and xiao hong.

Okay, let me recap on what happened on this day…

I went to school in the morning for IOB lessons and then listen in to the lecturer, Dylan talk about moods and emotions. Pretty boring, but I now knows that the smile I usually (most of the time) put on during work is called

SURFACE ACTING.

AH! So, if I hone my skills a bit more, act cute like Felicia chin and then train for a bod just like Fiona Xie, I’m sure to be able to join the Mediacorp as an artiste then?

But of course, I must be dreaming, It’s not my dream to start acting, though I am pretty good at my drama plays and all.

Irony right, I hate wearing a mask in front of people, but I always do. And I always seems to love being someone else whom I am not.

Okay, back to the friend’s gathering.

We headed down to Marina Square for lunch and also, to celebrate Xiao Hong’s birthday, since they have this student lunch offer over at Pizza Hut. Including Kai Lin’s boyfriend, there were a total of 10 of us, if I am not wrong. We ordered our food through this super warm, nice waitress, May and she really provided us with very good service throughout the meal.

That probably explains how she came to have those badges on her uniform.

Anyway, there’s a reason as to why I seldom dine in at Pizza hut even though the service is good; simply because, the food is not tasty/delicious/worth the money.

I don’t like think crust, and the toppings is so little, might as well they don’t add any ingredients?

Okay, enough of the food, I’ve taken some pictures here, gonna dump them all here too. =)

P.S The pictures not in order, and sorry, I didn’t have Linda’s personal face up here, haha!

Okay, bye!

Labels: Friends

{{ 6:11 AM -
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ILOVEMYDRESS!!!

Courtesy of baby, who bought the dress for me from Topshop. Joanne gave me a copy of VIVI magazine, which is another Japanese translated in Chinese’s beauty magazine. It’s rocking my socks because they offers really detailed information of how to do make up and the clothings are fabulous!!

Guess who’s going to shop smart the next time? =)

P.S
Yes! I know the colour of my dress is yellow!! I want to change my wardrobe, and that includes me being daring enough to try out new colours that never exist inside my wardrobe before. Heehee!

P.S.S
Had dinner over at baby’s place with his brother, dad and sister-in-law. Baby’s baby niece is so adorable, she is so cheerful that at every little “disturbance” from me, she tends to really smile and laugh a lot, and in turn, she made me smile. Gosh, by the time I really weds Ben, she’ll be a little grown up girl already. Haha!! =)

Labels: HEART it

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Thursday, May 28, 2009 Y

My love story.

Hi baby!

I used to wallow in self pity; thinking why on earth was my life like this and I blamed fate, hated how things is going for me and I was definitely hating others who were so much better off than me.

I met different people, guys who made me feel better at that moment, but they were not sincere; claimed to say I mean a lot to them, whatsoever. But whenever I needed someone, they weren’t there for me, at all.

Nothing was going well in my life and just as I was about to give up, there was you.

When you first stepped into my life, I was friendly to you, but I knew you weren’t my type and so we remained as friends for a while. It was only after I taken my second round of exams that we were finally closer than before. You gradually filled in the position of a good friend and then a best friend.

Whenever I had any problems, you were always there, giving me support, telling me nice and encouraging things and then always makes me feel better about myself.

But I hated you sometimes; because you were too nice and I felt that you can’t possible understand how I feel about my life because you had simply, everything that I don’t.

Then subsequently, I found out about your feelings for me; at that period of time, I kept telling people that it was near impossible for us to end up together because you weren’t my type. Seriously, I can’t fathom being your girlfriend and love everything about you.

And besides, I was determined that I should love myself more than I love anyone else; you were someone who happens to be there as my best friend and I was still recovering from my pains from previous relationships and was afraid that I will get hurt once more.

Needless to say, you didn’t give up, nor then you changed your target. You were just there, by my side and giving in/ giving me support silently, just treating me right and sincerely.

You made me realised that you are different.

Eventually, through time, and as everyone knows, time can gradually change everything. Your sincerity touches me to my bone marrow; I began to realised that I do looked forward to receiving your calls and seeing you in person and spending time in your company.

When you left for your brother’s wedding; that was the period of time when I realised I honestly missed you, and I….had fallen for you.

I was really excited when you came back from Kuala Lumpur and I was looking forward to telling you that I want to be with you. I texted you and inform you to bring me a rose that night and ask me the question again.

That night, you came down to my workplace, and while I was in your car, you pull out a bouquet of red roses and asked me, “Will you be my girlfriend” and to which, I replied, “Yes.”.

We kissed that night for the very first officially time. Haha!

To this very day, I still gets the shivers and the super warm, tingling feeling when your lips touches mine; it is this kind of feeling, that made me want to own you, forever and that I cannot fathom having another girl experiences that too.

After that beautiful day when we proceeded to East Coast Park to look at stars while you gushed on about how fortunate you were and how you will make me blissful and happy and never have to cry ever again…..

You were right, and wrong.

I am happy, yes. I am blissful, yes. But I still cry; because you always do the silliest yet sweetest thing that makes me tears, every single time.

As days goes by and we owned more days to prove that we were together for some time now; the days also goes to prove you’ll be there for me, ALWAYS whenever I needed you.

That night on our 5th month anniversary, we went down to Bugis’s shopping centre to get our couple rings over at Perlini’s Silver. I wanted something plain, something classy and something simple that will symbolise us and our love.

The ring we got was a plain silver ring with nothing on and it was so thin that it’s impossible to make any names engraving on it. You told me, “The engraving is not on the ring mah, it’s in here ah.” and gestured to your own heart.

I put on the ring for you and you did the same for me under the starry night sky over at West Coast, saying our private silly vows to go though thick and thin together and that the ring we are wearing, is a commitment ring. It is a proof that our love is strong and that our hearts are one.

It is; till this very day at this very hour, I know you’re fast asleep and that you’re wearing the ring whole heartily just as I am doing the same.

I know that the reason as to why we are able to understand each other so well and be so loving is because, we know what we both want in our life and what we expects from each other.

I needed someone who loves me for who I am; and I got you.

You needed someone to hold, to hug to love and a face to see when you wake up in the morning; you got me.

I never think that I was your everything, your motivation and your main pillar of support; all the time, you were there doing something for me, helping me whenever I am stuck but I have never seems to do anything drastic to help you in anywhere.

But I have come to understand that merely by the reason of me being your girlfriend and *future wife*, it’s enough for you to keep smiling, to be who you really are deep within.

And baby, that’s all I ever wanted to do; to see you happy and being yourself.

I know there are times when I am super insecure and unreasonable, but you were always very patient and assuring me over and over again of your love for me and that you will never change.

Sometimes, I get jealous whenever you meet up with your female friends and all. I never used to mind in the past but now I do; and I know it’s because I loved you a lot, like, A LOT. I have never ever felt this way before and I don’t like it at all. I am very fearful that this green monster will one day consume me and take over my body. I do not want to be over restricting you and banning you from spending time with your friends, I want to be able to give you space.

Baby, trust me, do not be mad with me if one day you can’t breathe; I never ever want that day to happen, hence I promise to control this green monster before I spin out of control. =)

I know people out there will doubt you and maybe our love too. Even me, myself I do sometimes mentally prepared myself if I ever were to find out that you cheat *touch wood* But looking back at how far we have came together, to be together to fall in love…..

I trust you, trust this relationship and trust my all in this love.

I’ve never thought of how things would happen for a reason, and that things will really turn out great and unexpectedly eventually. I have come a long, long way to fall for you. If I had to, I wouldn’t mind doing it all over again for you; to go through every single thing in my life again just to meet you.

You have evolved from nothing to my everything!

I suspect it was that delicious yummy cheese melting sandwiches you made for me when you were wooing me that made me fell for you, hard. Right?! *Don’t deny, you said this a thousand times, and you confessed to the crime! Heehee!*

Baby, I need you and I want you.

I need you because you’re my life, the air that I breathe in, the sun that shines whenever I am down; I tried to think how life would be if I were to remove you out from my life. And then I realised I can’t survive without you.

I HONESTLY, CAN’T.

I want you because, well, I love you. And I pictured myself walking towards that guy who is waiting for me at the very end of this white carpet scattered loosely with red petals. THAT GUY IS YOU.

I want to have your babies; to have the fruit of our love growing in me, and when the arrival of the baby is here, we’ll look down upon its little features and coo over our newborn baby together.

And, while you smile sweetly like a new father, I’ll whisper, “Hi sweetheart, I’m your mummy and this is your loving daddy. Welcome, to our little family.”

And lastly, I want to share the old rocking twin seat chair we will come to own many years later, I’ll be wearing a black cardigan because I have “feng shi” and you’ll hold my wrinkly old hand as I gently place my hand over yours and look at your increasing bald but white-haired head.

If my time was up one day, I prayed I will go while laying in your arms as you gently planted one last kiss on my forehead; one final kiss which I am still able to feel. The very same warm tingling feeling I have treasured all those years and came to marry and the last one to send me on my way.

IF I WERE TO GO BEFORE YOU; DO NOT BE SAD, MY LOVE.

Baby, I want to do all that with you; so I’m waiting patiently as you work hard to earn enough to ask for my hand.

Baby, you take my breathe away each time you hold my hand; you make me feel more secured then having cops around me, more warm than having a blanket wraped around me…..

THANK YOU FOR LOVING ME; and because of you, I am the person that I am, today.

Mr Benjamin Teh Khai Ping, I love you with all my heart, my soul, my everything and I thank god for being so kind as to let you “bump” onto me and then you’re now with me. =)

Muacks.

P.S
I’m the happiest ever since I’m with you. Heehee!

With love, Christina.

Labels: Feelings deep within

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Wednesday, May 27, 2009 Y

birthdays and cutter.

Last night, I had a little situation over at my workplace and I couldn’t help but felt so stupid/insulted that I went to the toilet and cried for a good five minutes.

And then I arrange to meet baby at Jurong east, and upon getting into his car, I burst out into tears and heavy sobs. Seriously, I am that upset.

What happened, you may ask.

I was serving this new table of 6 people, when one of them asked for a cutter for his cigar. I explained to him that I’m not sure if we have a cutter, but we have scissors instead. Not sure if he heard me, but he said “Okay” and then off I went to get that freaking pair of scissors…..

Only to return to a table full of laughter and that idiotic customer’s exasperated expression with his eyes full of disdain and a speech bubble that says “STUPID. Is this girl for real?!”

Scissors. Not a cutter. I didn’t even know that there’s a proper equipment to cutting a cigar and all those shit, simply because I DO NOT SMOKE MY WHOLE HEALTH AWAY LIKE THOSE FOOLS.

Yet, I felt like digging a hole and fall right in because their laughter felt like a slap to my face.

I cried for a good half an hour till my eyes became so swollen that I couldn’t open them this morning.

Good thing I had baby with me to comfort me. It’s came down to a point that whenever I am upset or happy or anything, the first person that springs up to my mind, is baby. And I was ranting and crying and even said that if I were rich, I wouldn’t be serving those idiots anyway, I would be a happy girl able to do whatever I want and not work so hard for a few dollars.

Baby then promised to work harder so as to be able to provide me with the life I dreamt of having. Muacks!!!

And well, guess that idiot will be happy he taught me one thing; what a bloody cutter is.

Anyway, I woke up this morning to a okay sunshine, and by the time it was nearly 2, my mum came back with a packed lunch for me. I missed school, obviously and I am pretty sure my team members and friend, Ee Lin is not pleased with me.

I honestly felt bad for skipping school, hahx. Hope I will not skip school again soon.

Today’s my mummy and brother, andy’s birthday, baby brought us out to eat at the usual Curry Fish head store. And because the weather’s been really crazy recently, I bought chrysanthemum flowers to brew the drink for baby to drink! Heehee.

Enough said. Mum bought a tiramisu cake from a normal cake shop; and I seriously hoped that next year, I will be more financially able to celebrate everyone’s birthday. =) I promised.

Happy Birthday to you, my dearest mummy; I hoped that you will find your own happiness and may I have the ability to make your life in the near future a comfortable one. Muacks!!!

Labels: Feelings deep within

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Tuesday, May 26, 2009 Y

stupid weather

I told my boyfriend the other day that every year passes me by extraordinary.

There’s not a day or rather, a year that is as peaceful as the same year or the past year. Complicated for anyone to understand? OH well, it is indeed.

Today, I was such a good girl, went to school early and paid attention to the lesson, and then it was time to go home, didn’t have lunch because my friends were going to eat at the mall and I didn’t have enough cash. So I called mum to pack lunch for me instead.

I’m waiting at the bus interchange for my bus to take me home. Earlier on, I was on the train, standing all the way and not to mention the horrible train stalled for a while, and that’s my 2nd train accident within a week.

Look at the sky; it’s filled with dark clouds, it will rain, soon. I’m supposed to feel the breeze, but there’s only hot air blowing, and I am perspiring, from every pores in my body.

The weather recently, is really getting on my nerves, it’s going to make my mood even more badly than it already was.

One moment I’m outside of the train and its hot, one moment I’m on the bus and it’s freaking cold. It’s cold and hot and vice versa umpteen times a day. Sweet Jesus!

I felt sad; hormones maybe. Its uprising and I cried my whole eyes out last night, life isn’t perfect for me in the past, I admit I committed some mistakes, but I learn from them, as I continue to, every single day.

And then I met Ben, and he made me feel a lot happier, I’ve never been so completed, so loved, so treasured and finally treated like how I should be treated.

For once, I am beautiful and my baby boy never fails to cheer me up, no matter how unreasonable or sad I was.

I know my life will be better, as baby always assured me that it will be; though sometimes, it seems easier crying and then move on.

Aiya, I know I’m just ranting here, I’m confused with my life now, it’s just like a broken piece of mirror that has already cracked and is being held up together by tape. Sooner or later it will be apart, all those small pieces, all over.

i am just waiting, for that unfortunate moment to arrive.

Labels: Feelings deep within

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Monday, May 25, 2009 Y

road to be clearer.

How not to be fat? =)

Baby and I went down to Goldenmile Shopping Centre together with my mummy for some lunch yesterday. I totally love thai food, no qualms about eating that everyday man. LOL! Went over to Tampines after the lunch and boy, the weather which is super humid these days are killing me!

The new shopping mall is super huge, but there’s not much things to shop, or rather, I wished I can shop like crazy over at topshop, they have the cutest and prettiest tops and dresses ever!!! Geez.

Anyway, headed over to sunset tavern for lunch after that, and it’s near sunset way at clementi, baby thinks that it will be our new hang out place as they have this whole roll of small pubs and cafes. ;)

I was fretting over my project and today, I finally got my project team fixed, seriously, I am kind of scared that eventually Ee Lin and myself will do the job only, but hopefully not lah; I should have more faith and trust in my team members.

Money makes the world go around you know; I vowed never to be poor in the future when I was much younger. Now that I’m hitting the adulthood in less than two years, I am, of course very stressed as to what I would want to have, as my career.

Well, guess my road will be clearer day by day right? =)

Labels: Feelings deep within

{{ 9:36 PM -
Chrissy signsoff (:

Sunday, May 24, 2009 Y

food at laviva

Had dinner over at my workplace. There's asparagas rolls, parma ham toastatas, stuffed mushrooms, garlic shrimps and quesadilla beef. It's a spanish restaurant and bar, people. So the food is not the usual things you have in western places.

One word; awesome!

The food is really really good. =)

The damage?; the bill is about a hundred, but due to staff benefits, it's half the price! Muahahha! =)

We then proceeded over to Plaza Singapura for our 12:30am show, Night at the museum 2. It was hilarious, but a little draggy. I totally loves weekends because I get baby 24 hours to myself! Muahaha =)

Labels: HEART it, I'm a workaholic

{{ 3:31 AM -
Chrissy signsoff (: